jovenile: (of dark and bright.)
guys i'm about to buy some imps from BPAL! i'm kind of excited, i've been dying to for about five years but only got a credit card this year. but i have a few questions:

1. do any of you know how to order internationally? i know they ship to canada but how exactly does one place their orders?

2. i've got my six scents picked out. has anyone ever tried these?

i've got jezebel, rapture, lady macbeth, ladon, eve and persephone.

also considering black rose, voodoo lily, the red queen, bordello, o, queen of sheba and snake oil.

and of course any recs are appreciated :)

thanks for your help guys!

edit: final list ended up being lady macbeth, o, snake oil, queen of sheba, bordello and eve.
jovenile: (Default)
my grandfather died today.

i don't know what to say.
jovenile: (Default)
quick update: lived through exams, pulled marks up, second work term, miss the chem eng family, boyfriend good, everything happy.

also, i think i have got to get living quarters closer to the university during school to reduce the expenditures of eating out, and to reduce the instances of driving home exhausted at night.
jovenile: (Default)
PLEASE does anyone know how to repair a dead flash disk? I'm so fucking stupid, I saved my lab write-up on it AND my pre-lab so I have to re-write everything from scratch, 30 pages, due tomorrow.

If ANYONE can help me... PLEASE, I seriously want to die right now.

When I plug in my flash drive it, Windows acknowledges that there is a removable disk plugged in but when I click on the icon it says 'Please insert a disk in disk F' and I can't open it. Properties says it has 0 bytes used and 0 bytes free space. My dad has tried everything he can think of and no retrieval.

I'm on the verge of insanity, someone please help me.
jovenile: (Default)

somewhere along the way, these words have stopped being sustenance – have stopped being essential, have stopped being life-giving. they have become only a means, each letter a small carrier of some datum that will, in the end, when we look back on this with the objectivity lent by time and distance, prove to be utterly insignificant.

it is there in the bones, the signal of change, like some new spring or some slow snowmelt. it is there – a doubt, a breath, the feeling of lingering on the edge of precipice. the uncertainty of a tight-rope walker unsure of whether to fly or fall.


these words are coming, now, but the process has lost its ease – the ease inherent to the flow of water from high to low. every word is like pulling an obstinate tooth, or a reluctant knife sheathed in the flesh. every syllable is like the pull upon a limb not quite severed, but hanging stubbornly by some small ligament.

there are some changes that are immutable, irreversible, inexorable.

it is, and it is not.


the thinking tempers the process – curbs it, slows it, like an unhappy horse. the alterations make it feel new-old, some strange mutation, some bastardization of the once-familiar.

too young to feel so old. these bones have scarce a score of years upon them.

but with either fortitude or foolhardiness, encumbered and fettered by the trappings of a scientific mind, one, somehow, presses on.
jovenile: (Default)
hello, 2 am, it's been a while.

i wish we could meet under different circumstances - perhaps in a club, or at a party - but instead mr. assignment is forcing this meeting.

and honestly, now that i've re-encountered you, i must say i FUCKING HATE YOU. i wish i could just go to bed and sleep you away.
jovenile: (Default)
enjoying the first, last and only week of my summer vacation. my work term is done. it's shorts season. i'm enjoying the spring/summer trend of dresses, because i love dresses. ummm. my laptop's in for screen repairs. i cook a lot. i start classes again on may 5th; i have six of them. tell me about yourselves?

sometimes i think a world full of words would have been better. i still read lots. i haven't written for months - maybe closer to a year. or two. for all that, i think it is only a matter of time until that dormant passion and all those waiting sentences wake up because i want to write again.

i watched prince of tennis. i wrote yesterday. it felt familiar. and good. and right. i can tell that it's different now. like a weave, it's tighter now, i think, and more even. i sound a little more like a grown up, less like a little girl pretending to be one. i'm a little thriftier with my words. that can only be good.

oh god i hope this was the right choice.


March 12th, 2008 11:35 am
jovenile: (the federalist.)
i had such an inui moment just now, if anyone still cares about prince of tennis anymore (i don't know, i haven't really been here for a while). i was printing off data for the first run of the experiment i'm heading in the lab. so i had the four sets of data printed and stapled in my hand. my immediate reaction?

"iiii data."

i only realized after i said it that i had turned into inui, oh no.
jovenile: (the federalist.)
hey guys, i'm still alive!

i pretty much love my job, everything is good.

give me some news of yourselves?
jovenile: (Default)

jovenile: (Default)
why the hell didn't i go into the arts? what is WRONG with me? calculus is the academic manifestation of satan on earth. i am going to spend the rest of my LIFE doing this. also apparently i've lost the ability to do basic math, like fractions or indeed, even simple addition. i miss the time when math was just a bunch of numbers. now there are letters and weird greek symbols, and also mass amounts of wanting to shoot self.

i'm not even going to get into physics, which actually literally makes me contemplate, honestly seriously, switching into the arts and never looking back. happily i only have to take it for first term, but i get the feeling that i will be visited by its vengeful spirit ever after.

being in engineering makes me cry and rant, a lot, to anyone who will listen, usually my poor boyfriend, occasionally my beleaguered father, sometimes my chem eng buddies.

also university has ruined my eating pattern. my body does not recognize normal hunger signals anymore. and yet i still gain weight at an astounding rate. something is just not right here.

i love my life i love my life I LOVE MY LIFE.

i'm going to go wander around and play with my dogs before resuming my homework. that is all.
jovenile: (only all the fucking time.)
my prom was june 1st.

i love life. :)
jovenile: (Default)
okay, so yesterday i was up at five a.m, then i spent an hour and a half being dumped into a pool (i can't swim, by the way) from a canoe for an upcoming trip i'm taking this thursday. (if my canoe ever tips, i'm fucked because i'll die of hypothermia before i ever get back into it.)

after that i did seven hours of volunteering at the local retirement home (mandatory for my religion class), where i played scrabble with a little old lady who whipped my ass, 206 to 191. i was on the floor of the long-term care residents, which is... really heartbreaking.

so today, i am sick and cranky and tired and cold and kind of lonely. my canoe trip is on thursday, i don't want to be paddling around some river with a headache and dizziness and sore throat and only being able to slightly breathe through my nose.

someone help me get better quicker, please.
jovenile: (evil and a heathen.)
customers piss me off. a short list on the joys of working at tim horton's. this is in no way comprehensive.

the drive-thru edition, because i was there all day yesterday:

01. when customers open the lids of their cups to make sure it's filled all the way to the top. fuck you, i know how to fill a cup.

02. when customers complain about how their cup isn't full to the top and hand it through the window to be filled again. a) there's a fill line, jerk, b) the only reason i'm filling it any fuller after you sneer at me is in the hopes that you burn important body parts after you drive off with your overflowing cup.

03. 'welcome to tim horton's drive thru, may i take your order please?' 'yeah, i'll have a large double-double.' 'is that everything?' 'no, can i get a sesame bagel toasted with butter?' 'is that everything?' 'no, can i get a half-dozen donuts?' FUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOU.

04. 'welcome to tim horton's drive thru, may i take your order please?' 'hold on, we're still deciding.' FUCK YOU.

05. 'can i get my coffee from a fresh pot?' FUCK YOU. GO MAKE YOUR OWN.

06. 'can i get two extra large double-doubles, one extra large half cream half sugar, one extra large french vanilla, and two extra large teas made with two sugar one milk one bag in one on the side, and by the way i have a winning rim for three of those.' FUCK YOU. if you're incapable of telling me about your winning rim before i've punched in your ENTIRE ORDER, you can TAKE yoru winning rim and SHOVE it, OKAY?!

07. 'what's taking my order so long?' excuse me, asshole? um, we have two on drive-thru, one on break, someone in the back is making the donuts our baker left us because people like YOU bitch about how little selection we have after a non-stop day, we have two on counter with a line up snaking around our dining room section, and we're still taking MORE orders. so you sit your FAT ASS in your FUCKING CAR and you WAIT for your goddamn coffee, OKAY BITCH?

08. 'ma'am, do you have five cents?' 'uhhhh no but i have five pennies.' BITCH ARE YOU FOR REAL?

09. when customers drive up to the window and slam their change on the counter, even though MY HAND IS THERE. FUCK YOU. your change is getting SLAMMED on the fucking counter too.

10. when customers hand me change but give me this look like i have leprosy or something when i hand them theirs. they have the fear of GOD in their eyes. FUCK YOU. i hope your dick falls off, and i mean that.

11. customers from counter: 'was that you screaming?' yes, JERK, that was me screaming. i was yelling 'SOMEONE MAKE MY BAGEL!' in the hopes that SOMEONE would hear me - either the guy in the back making donuts, or the other two counter staff that just FUCKED OFF and were nowhere to be found - and make my FUCKING bagel because there are TWO OF US on drive through and we can't AFFORD to make a bagel. so kiss my ass, fuckface.

12. when customers unbuckle their seatbelts, count out the change in, i don't fucking know, nickels or something, open their coffee, take a sip, and rebuckle their seatbelt and then drive off. thanks, asshole! now my times are like ninety seconds!

13. 'can i have my penny?' you utter BASTARD.

14. customers with sticky change. please, i will give you your coffee FOR FREE if it means i do not have to touch your money contaminated with either spit, or blood, or gum, or i don't even want to think what the hell is making your money so sticky so please just take your coffee and for the love of god just GO HOME.

jovenile: (gunshy.)
my arms may be empty right now but my heart is full to bursting. i've never been this happy. the sad girl with the angry music is just a distant memory - your kiss has finally made her smile.

♥ i just want you to know.
jovenile: (the federalist.)
okay. so. i've been really busy lately, right. and. i was thinking. a lot of you, i know, friended me because of the fannish content - the writing, the pirates, the angels and demons, the tennis boys, the wizards, the whatever. but that's not who i am. i'm not saying it hasn't shaped me - it has. but it's not me. not anymore.

and honestly? i want to write still but i don't thik i can be really happy playing in other people's sandboxes. i want something that is mine. mine mine miney mine mine. and maybe it will be a story, or a poem, or something else; i don't know yet. but i don't think i can be happy writing just fanfic anymore.

and so. with that said:

if what i have to say doesn't interest you anymore, defriend me. i seriously, honestly, swear to god i will not be mad. i am not an interesting individual anymore. well, i am, but those are the bits that you aren't getting to see so much. i've found that writing about my life doesn't appeal to me so much anymore as actually going out there and living it.

so i was going to have a big speech and stuff, but i am really tired. it has been a long day. so. take. leave. doesn't matter. whatever you want.

ummm if on the other hand you want to stay... then: hey guys, i am so not dead!
jovenile: (only all the fucking time.)
Symptoms: Patient describes a 'sudden urge to make baked goods' as well as an uncontrollable smiling and/or singing response to songs with content of a romantic nature. Also describes an unusual tightening or 'bright flash' in upper chest region following certain interactions with a specific member of the opposite sex. Patient reports periods of daydreaming during which response time to external stimulus is up to 60% slower, and displays signs of shortened attention span, temporary aphasia, tongue-tiedness and/or sporadic smiling. These periods of intense brain activity ususally last anywhere from five to thirty minutes, and occur periodically throughout the day. Patient describes an intense desire to snuggle for extended periods of time and reports that these symptoms have been occuring with increasing intensity since early November.

It might be love.

Differential diagnosis?

January 24th, 2007 01:59 pm
jovenile: (of dark and bright.)
the definition of happiness
is you, your two hands tangled in my hair
your mouth scant two eyelash flutters away from mine
when blood sings in tandem
the very air would harmonize.
Every lonely stretch of flesh
is given new electric thrill, and every lonely breath,
a beat.
My hand is clutching fistfuls of your winter coat
as if could burrow closer –
ah, yet closer, still.

You make me dizzy. there’s only this:
there’s only red
along your stubble
the scrape against my cheek
belying the softness of your skin, the scent of you
still novel-new

and the damp curve of my mouth
is only the matching curve

to yours.
jovenile: (Default)
it's funny but i always assign genders to the spices and herbs in the kitchen. i was making bruschetta bread just now and i was thinking about how garlic is such a male flavour, and basil, and olive oil too, never mind the extra-virgin bit. tomato is a watery pushover of a male flavour. but red onion strikes me as a female with a little bit of a bite. and so my bruschetta is, i guess, a boyish bruschetta, although i've always seen it is a girl dish, for some reason.

and it got me thinking. the things in the spice cupboard, i thought most of them were male flavours, but thinking on it, there's a fair few female flavours too: nutmeg, for example, and cinnamon, they both eternally feminine, and thyme is a little more girl than man, in my opinion. basil, though, and sage, bay leaf and curry leaf, and dill, definitely: boy flavours. male flavours.

salt is a boy, sea salt is a man, pepper is definitely a female. where garlic is a man, ginger is a woman, and all the peppers are girls. mint is a girl, oregano is a boy. anise is feminine, as is its chinese star counterpart, and allspice and cumin are girls too. sesame is a boy. coriander is a girl.

am i the only person who does this? i think i'm kind of weird...
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